Mixed Media Junkie

Money, why are you always playing so hard to get?  Is it because I don’t treat you right?  Is it because I use you so wantonly and unabashedly?  I thought you liked the asshole type.  I’m always trading you for things like “food,” and “rent,” and “drugs.”  Okay, not drugs per se.  More like, basic American rights such as ”digital cable television with a digital video recorder” and a “DSL connection.” 

I miss you, money.  You used to keep my wallet and bank account company, remember?  They usually don’t last long, but our love affairs are intense and passionate.   You make me work so hard for you – 40 hours a week, as a matter of fact, not counting overtime.  And still, I only see you every other week.  You magically appear in and out of my life (and bank account) as if by some sort of strange electronic magic.  And then poof! - just like that, you’re suddenly gone again.  You are the very definition of a tease.

Why torture me so?  It just seems so cruel.  I now know why they call you cold, hard cash.  It is because you have a cold, hard heart.  And you are cash. 

I won’t lie – I cannot live without you in my life, money.  I hate to admit it to myself, but I need you.  I want you.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.  I would say that if I can’t have you, then nobody else can – but we both know that’s impossible.  You do spread yourself around quite a bit, don’t you, money.  It’s okay, I don’t judge.  I’m not jealous.  I can understand why everbody wants a piece of you.  You are highly desirable, in all your forms, be it stocks, bonds, liquid assets, or actual currency like paper bills, coins, even gold bullions.  I would want you even if you were a dirty gold doubloon.  I’m not discriminating.

I can’t say that I’ll love you forever, though.  In fact, I will probably spend you as soon as I have you.  But don’t let that dissuade you from spending time in my company, because I think we are magical together.  You and I are a force to be reckoned with, and we would make sweet, sweet music together.  Or at least, I would purchase sweet sweet music with you, and maybe some concert tickets to Coachella, because there are some awesome bands playing this year, and I’d really like to see Wolf Parade and Ted Leo and a band called Gnarls Barkley that does a cover of the Violent Femmes’ Gone Daddy Gone.  

*Sigh*  I probably won’t see you in time for Coachella, but that’s alright.  Come back to me soon, baby.  Come back.